It’s Just Old Age

by guest blogger Julie Davidson

One thing I have a hard time with is aging. Not the actual turning one year older, but the physical changes. Like grey hair. Except for Michael McDonald, who looks good with all that grey? And as my hair dresser said, “You have those angry grey hairs.” Much like foil. And try pulling those buggers out. It’s like trying to pull those thistle things from your garden. You can pull them so far out, but you can still see them near the root.

And I’m thinking I need bifocals. When I read I have to adjust my arm length from my body like three times. What happened? My eyes were fine just a few months ago. I called an optometrist to get some answers. He asked my age. I told him 42. He said (without hesitation mind you),”Yep. You’re at that age. That’s all.”  That’s all? Dude, my eyesight was 20/20 and them “Bam” everything is blurry. That’s all?

My knees have begun to make this clicking sound, so I talked with my doctor about it.  ”It’s likely arthritis. Unfortunately it comes with age.” Here we go again. It comes with age? Like something on a menu. “That comes with fries or coleslaw.” And who ordered it? I didn’t!

I guess I would have liked a heads up, you know. Maybe like a PSA. “This is a friendly reminder that your body will most certainly fall apart between 40 and 45. This may include, but is not limited to, menopause, mood swings, absent mindedness, decreased hearing, poor eyesight, and crackling knees. You may seek medical attention, but really not much can be done. Do not yell at your doctors. It is not their fault. You are aging and possibly you got bad genes.” I’m adopted so maybe a note would have been nice. Maybe, “We wish you well and hope you enjoy your new family. Oh, and sorry about the bad knee thing, kid”

Then I realize that I tell my boys that age doesn’t define them. I tell them, “It doesn’t matter that you are young; there are lots of things you can do.” So, I guess that I should go by the same idea–that my age doesn’t define me. Okay fine.  And the leg brace I bought is helping with the knee thing. Plus it gives me sympathy at the gym and around the office.  And I suppose I could see that glasses could be seen as a cool accessory. But- I’m not gonna stop coloring my hair. No way no how.

The Sound of Silence

I so clearly remember being a kid and suddenly discovering the radio! My parents had gotten me a radio/tape player, and my sister and I couldn’t get enough of listening to music. I remember being so surprised that my mom never turned on the radio in the car. Never. Ever. My sister and I started to ask her to, and she kindly obliged.

Fast forward a few noisy decades. High school=loud. College=loud. New babies in the house=very very loud. My sons were not quiet babies! The noise was constant, and deafening. I’m fortunate to work from home, and so I spend a great deal of time with my kids, and I almost always take them on errands–to the store, the library, the post office, the bank. They like to listen to the radio or kids’ CDs, and we’re in a constant bubble of noise.

Every now again though I run an errand by myself–maybe a quick trip to the post office for work. I get into the car, close the door, and suddenly I’m surrounded by silence. And it sounds really really good.

Finally, Mom, I understand.

The Dirty Dozen

Tyler, Austin, and I had a wonderful playdate yesterday with some terrific friends. While we were eating lunch, my friend and I were talking about a subject I’m passionate about: eating organic. My friend shares this passion. Our husbands do not.

My friend and her husband have come up with a wonderful, simple compromise. They buy all foods from the “dirty dozen” organic. All other foods, they buy conventionally grown. So smart!

So what’s the dirty dozen? They’re the following foods that experts say have the highest pesticide residues:

• Peaches
• Apples
• Sweet bell peppers
• Celery
• Nectarines
• Strawberries
• Cherries
• Pears
• Grapes (Imported)
• Spinach
• Lettuce
• Potatoes

Experts say the following foods are the least contaminated:

• Onions
• Avocado
• Sweet corn (frozen)
• Pineapples
• Mango
• Asparagus
• Sweet peas (frozen)
• Kiwi Fruit
• Bananas
• Cabbage
• Broccoli
• Papaya

What a simple solution!

We’re Going to Wally World!

By guest blogger Julie Davidson

Okay we’re not going to Wally World, but we are finally taking a family vacation! All four of us.  This is the first time we will all take a cross-country trip together.  Two years ago I took the boys (then four and five) to see my grandmother for her 100th birthday.  They couldn’t wait to ask her if there were dinosaurs around when she was little. Cute.  The plane ride, however, not so cute.  Miles, my oldest kept going to the bathroom. He’d go in and just stay there, and I’d end up knocking on the door and try to quietly yell (I know, an oxymoron) “Get out!  There’s a line of other people who need to potty.” My younger son, Max, kept saying, “We’re gonna crash!”  Who needs an in-flight movie when you have us as a traveling side show?

But this time the boys seem more interested in “stuff” for the trip. I bought them each a red carry-on suitcase.  They rushed home and filled it with all the things they thought they would need on the trip. The next morning Max realized he had packed all his underwear–four weeks out from the trip!

I’m a sucker for being prepared, (or faking it well) and I want the kids to have things I think they might need. So I bought them trial-sized lotion, sanitizer, baby wipes, and toothpaste and toothbrushes. You would have thought that I had given them a million bucks as their eyes grew wide with excitement. Yep. A million bucks for under 20! Call me tacky, but I may be going back and buying one of everything I can find in trial size for Christmas!

So, even though they want to stuff their remote control cars and all the underwear they have in their luggage, I’m finding out that letting them be part of the planning is fun for them.  I do have a suspicion that security will have a field day with us.

Stay tuned! This vacation will be fodder for many more blogs. But let me hear from you too. If you have a question or a comment, please share it!

Take Time with Transitions!

Today was my son Tyler’s last day of kindergarten. The gravity of this event seems to have totally escape his attention. My husband’s too. I however have been close to tears all day. Ok, more than close a few times!

It’s incredible to me that my son could be finished kindergarten! Ready to go to full-day first grade in a few short months. Where did the time go? I look at Tyler–so tall, so confident, so independent, and I wonder what happened to the tiny, baby who wanted to be held all of the time.

I’m happy that he’s not sad to leave kindergarten behind. He’s striding into summer, and I know he’ll be happy to go to first grade. But I need to take a little time today to celebrate the end of kindergarten and reflect on what a big change this is. Pizza and ice cream anyone?

Girls’ Night Out!

Last night, I did something I rarely do: I asked my husband to give our sons, Tyler (age 5) and Austin (age 4) a bath and put them to bed so that I could meet a friend to go shopping. The last time I did that? 2006. I think. Now don’t me wrong–my husband is absolutely wonderful. He watches Tyler and Austin every day that he’s not working, so that I can work, and I do meet friends every now and again for lunch. But I don’t often take time to go out solo in the evening like this.

As I got ready to go, Tyler and Austin were very upset, crying and asking me not to go. “You have friends that you enjoy spending time with, right?” I asked. “Well, I have friends too just like you, and I look forward to spending time with them.”

At supper, I was telling my friend about this. “When my kids get upset like that when I leave, I realize that a little time away is long overdue–for me, but also for them,” she kindly and gently said. I think she’s right! I won’t let another five years pass–not even another five months–before I do this again!

“What You Think About, You Bring About”

My friend and coauthor, Dr. Rallie McAllister, told me that one day. I’d never heard it put so eloquently. It’s so true–what we think about, we bring about.

The one place in my life I notice this the most is with my kids. Ever since my younger son, Austin (now age 4), was born, I’ve tried to emphasize with my older son, Tyler (now age 5), his relationship and role as Austin’s older brother. (Of couse as Austin got older, I did the same for him.) For example, when Austin was just a baby, Tyler loved to make him smile and laugh, and I was always quick to point out, “Tyler, look how much Austin loves you! You made him smile!” When Tyler does kind things for Austin, such as sharing a toy, I’d say, “Wow, Tyler, that was awesome. You’re such a great big brother.”

It’s amazing how Tyler has grown into a really incredible big brother. This morning, the boys were playing with Lego-like building blocks. We have four of one particular, red, triangular shaped block. Tyler had two of them, Austin had one, and one was missing. “I’ll help you to look for the fourth one,” I told them. Without missing a beat, Tyler said, “Oh, thanks! That way Austin can have two blocks also.” It never would occur to him that he should have one more block.