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Thanks for Sharing

by Julie Davidson

There’s something sweet about the time when kids drift off to sleep. Actually there’s a lot of “somethings.”

When the kids drift to sleep, you know you’re within moments of being able to watch really bad reality TV. Or you can finally have that not quite catty but no quite innocent conversation with your best friend. Or maybe you just want to enjoy a piece of candy from your “mom” stash guilt-free.

But what I like at drift to sleep time is the sweet conversation. The other night there was a full moon shining into my son Miles’s room. I went into his room, sat on the edge of his bed and exclaimed, “Look. That moon was made just for you!” I’m not sure he believed me, but in the light of that moon I could see a big grin on his face.
With Maxon, I’ve stopped in his room to snuggle for a moment. I like to remind him that it’s okay to love and let people love him. The last time I did this he said, “Your breath smells like cold toast. Can you go now?”

I must be a glutton for punishment, because I keep going back at bedtime. Just the other night I tucked Miles in and told him how much I loved him. Before I made it to the doorway he said in a sleepy voice, “I love you too, Mom. Even if you’re not Alicia Keys.”

What? I thought we were past this. The back story is that a few years ago my husband made a comment about Alicia Key as being pretty. To his credit, he added that “Mommy” was prettier than Alicia Keys. So for the longest time, the kids reminded me how pretty Alicia Keys is. I finally had to let them know, “But I’m your mom. Daddy isn’t married to Alicia Keys.”

“No. But if you die, Dad can find a girlfriend,” was the response I got. Let me guess. She’ll look like Alicia Keys.

So I smell like cold toast, and I don’t look like a pop star. So…onto those other things I like about the drifting to sleep time. Somewhere in the kitchen cabinet is a stash of chocolate just for me.

Now You Get It

by Julie Davidson

You might have read about the family that called 911 from a corn maze. They had a newborn and a five year old with them and panicked when they couldn’t find their way out. My first thought was, C’mon how can you get lost in a corn maze?

The next week, we met some other families for an afternoon of fun in a corn maze. Before we ventured into the maze, the staff showed us a video and a map of the corn maze. And they went over the rules. Rule number two was no foul language. That should have been my first clue that this was not for me. I can safely say that after two hours of wandering through a corn maze, with hungry kids, as the cold and darkness settled in, while trying not to use inappropriate language, I can totally see how you can get lost in a corn maze. All you see is corn. Lots and lots of corn.

And how about those parents that accidentally lock their infants in the car? To this day, I can not figure out how I managed that one. But I did. My firstborn was about four months old and sound asleep in his infant carrier. What should have been a quick stop at Goodwill turned into 30 minutes of “Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God” with a steady stream of sweat to accompany it. I got out to hand a bag of donated goods to an employee and when I turned around and went to open the door, it was locked. And the heat was blasting on high. I could not have felt like a worse mother. To make matters worse, I had gotten in a tiff with my husband earlier, and I wasn’t sure he would take my call. He did, and the car was unlocked before the baby was even awake. I will say that is one of the quickest ways to drop five pounds in one day.

Breastfeeding in public ever bother you? I didn’t get it until I had kids. It’s not a peep show. There’s no stripper pole or flashing. The choice is simple: a kid screaming so much he has area dogs covering their ears complete with a frenzied and lactating mom or a happy baby with a Mom who isn’t leaking through her bra. So yeah, who wouldn’t feed on-the-go if she had the chance? Think of it as a mobile, maternal vending machine.

Prior to having kids, I believed that my kids would never eat fast food. I am not proud of the fact that they have frequented a certain fast food chain enough that they practically know the menu by heart! And I’ve even let them eat that fat laden food in front of the television. Which of course some say is using such an electronic device as a baby sitter. I’d rather call it mother’s assistant. You gotta pay a sitter.

Who understood the stern tone moms take while shopping with the kids? Easy in. Easy out. Nope. The kids want to sit in the cart. The one that looks like a real truck. It might as well be registered with the DOT. Those things drive like Mack Trucks, and there is virtually no way to turn them around in the aisle. You have to back them up. All while little arms are reaching out, knocking things off the shelves. Two words: manager’s nightmare.

All the stuff we just didn’t get—until we got it.

That is So Cool

by Julie Davidson

We’ve been very careful in not buying our kids every new gadget that hits the market. Okay, our budget has dictated most of it. But you can’t deny how gratifying it is to see your kid’s eyes light up when they see something cool. It’s like a mini Christmas morning.

So what gave the boys that wide-eyed wonder this time? A coffee maker. I kid you not. The one we got for our wedding but hardly use because Mommy feels more grown up going to Starbucks. Yes. That one.

In doing some fall cleaning, I came across a can of hazelnut flavored coffee. Even without a barista and the fancy, hard-to-pronounce name I decided that coffee was what I needed to get me through a cold morning soccer game.

Maxon almost stopped in his tracks when he saw it on the counter. “What’s that?” he asked.

I explained to him that it was a coffee maker and that instead of going to Starbucks I could make coffee at home. The blank stare on his face told me he still didn’t understand. Or maybe he was disappointed because no Starbucks meant no over-sized cookie for him.

The next morning, the distinct, sweet smell of hazelnut lured him from his room to the kitchen. My husband had started the coffee just minutes before. Maxon couldn’t contain his excitement. “Dad, look, it’s dripping down. It’s making the coffee!”

He ran to the top of the stairs to let his brother in on this new-found piece of technology. He was so flustered he could barley talk. So instead he gave him the hand signal that means, Come quick. You gotta see this.

And there they were: side by side, admiring the coffee maker in all her glory. One drip after another.

They have a Wii. They’ve been on a plane. They went to the Grand Canyon. But still, this single appliance gave them a thrill. Just wait til we get a dishwasher.

That Seems Like a Lot of Work

by Julie Davidson

I used to be a perfectionist. Or tried to be. But honestly, being a perfectionist is hard work and well, that’s not fun. I wouldn’t say I’m a sloth, but my standards of needing to do a good job have changed. I don’t know if it’s age, energy or laziness, but it’s not the same as it used to be. But there are a lot of moms who can do things really well. Whereas I admire them, it kinda sets the bar high for us low achievers.

Case in point. The woman who recently ran the Chicago Marathon and gave birth afterward—as in the same day! Oh, and that marathon was just over 26 miles! She ran half and walked the other half. I walked like 15 minutes a few times a week for the first trimester with my oldest son. Then I convinced myself that why bother. I was big as a house anyway, and treated myself to chili cheese dogs once a week.

There’s more. When her contractions became regular, she stopped for a bite to eat before going to the hospital! I was at the hospital when the contractions weren’t regular. Please please don’t send me home. I like it here. You have cable TV, room service, and a bed that reclines.

I was happy to bring a treat to school for my son’s birthday. I met with his teachers to find out if that was okay and how much I should bring. One teacher almost drooled as she recalled how a mom brought in chocolate covered bananas to share for her child’s birthday. I can only imagine how disappointed she was with my store-bought donut holes. But I bought three different flavors. That’s gotta count for something.

The moms who look flawless really amaze me. Makeup done. Hair done. Stylish outfits. It seems that when I have that entire combo going, someone asks what the special occasion is. And the truth is it’s usually because I actually picked out the outfit the night before, had just been to the salon, and had time to do my whole face…not just eyeliner and blush.

In all honesty, I admire people who can do things and do them well. Moms need to support other moms because we each bring something to the table. Having said that, I wonder if it works both ways. What’s the likelihood one of them is in awe looking at me trying to figure out, How does she pull off that bed head hair look so well?

Raising a Defiant Child

Yes, the defiant child is mine.

by Robyn Swatsburg

Yes. The defiant child is mine. But please understand. He isn’t trying to embarrass you or mock you. He isn’t challenging you because he wants to. He is angry or upset. He may be angry or upset because of something you did or said or because of something else. He will tell you when he is no longer angry or upset. He will explain and apologize and make it better. But right now he is defiant and there is nothing he can do to stop that. He will not lose. He will stop at nothing. One day he will be able to but not today. I know how angry that makes you. I know you think he needs to learn a lesson now. From you. I would like to say that would help but it won’t. As the adult, you need to help him. You need to not challenge him so he can not lose. So he can stop being angry or upset and come back to explain, apologize, and make it better. He will, but you need to break the cycle because right now he cannot. Yes, the defiant child is mine, but I need your help understanding him.

I don’t know how he will end up, but today, at least, I think he will be okay.