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Do We Really Want It All?

November 21, 2011 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

By Julie Davidson

You’ve likely heard the question, “Can we really have it all?” You know: husband, career, kids, social life.

Before I had it all, I remember thinking, How hard could it be? I’d have a house, a husband, a very grown-up job, and kids. Yeah. Okay. So it would all be perfect if the house were self-cleaning. And if the husband didn’t have to put in so many hours at work. And if the kids never got colds. And if the grass was always that perfect shade of green. And if someone would kindly do all the grocery shopping. And cooking. And if the stocks we bought were worth something.

Sure. We can have it all. You bet. But it’s like a smorgasbord. And it’s all there for you to choose from: fancy cheeses, filet Mignon, mashed potatoes, green beans, pork’n beans, those weanie things on toothpicks, bacon wrapped chestnuts, carrots, broccoli (pass), salmon, sweet corn, corn on the cob, bread, gobs of butter. Even dessert. It’s all there. You can eat it all. Go ahead eat it. Yeah. How are you feeling now? It’s like a bad Alka Selzer commercial. You take too much, and you will combust.

It’s not far from how it is with life. Sometimes there’s just too much going on. But we feel compelled to do it all. Why? Maybe it’s just our nature. Frankly, the older I get, the more I feel that perfection is overrated. Maybe I’m just getting lazy. Or tired. Or realistic.

The other day, a friend of mine found out she mailed a card that was supposed to have a check in it. She accidentally forgot to put the check in before mailing the card. In an email to me she said, “Can you tell I’m coming unglued?”

I was actually relieved to read that email and was thinking, I’m not the only one. Last week I threw a check away. Yes. In the garbage.  It took me 60 seconds to grab the check from the pile of mail. Then 20 more searching through the garbage can for it. I was busy going through the mail and listening to voice messages and thinking about making dinner and just absent mindedly threw the check in the garbage.

Another friend who has five children and is married told me she needs a couple hours a week just to think. She said she needs to go somewhere like Dunkin Donuts just to gather her thoughts. I was thinking even somewhere not to have to think sounded good. And yeah if donuts are served, that’s even better!

I think as women we tend to think it’s all gotta get done, and we have to be the ones to do it. But if we are always doing it, no one else has the chance to. So yeah. We can have it all. And maybe even all at one time. But here’s a heads–up: Something might end up in the garbage.

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