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Cliffs Notes Would Be Helpful

February 9, 2012 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

By Julie Davidson

You’ve probably seen the books. They’re yellow with black letters. They’re called Cliffs Notes. I always thought it was a neat idea in school. You could get the idea of a particular story without actually having to do all the work.

Now I don’t want to give the impression of being a slacker mom, but really the idea of knowing how things will turn out in life ahead of time would be awesome! And it’s an abbreviated version, so you save the time.

Cliffs Notes for motherhood would be ideal. And each mom could have one just for her life. Think of it as a type of mother’s helper. You can peek ahead to see what happens next.

Here is a rundown of sample chapters:

  • Yes, your baby is going to be colicky.
  • Your baby will go to sleep if you drive her around the block 50 times.
  • Yay! You will get that first grade teacher you hoped for.
  • That minivan you saw on Craigslist…don’t buy it.
  • Letting your child cry himself to sleep won’t send him to therapy.
  • Your child will not get whooping cough, but will get back-to-back ear infections within two months.
  • The dog will love and protect your kids. The cat—not so much.
  • The neighborhood kid with the tattoos and the body piercings is actually one of the best babysitters.
  • That four-bedroom ranch house you’ve been eyeing up has major plumbing issues.
  • Your husband is not cheating on you, but couples therapy would be a good idea.
  • The amount it will cost to raise your child from birth to 18 is four times the amount you calculated.
  • The bed that costs $2,500 could be one of the best investments for your back and your marriage.

I mean, think of all the time, frustration, and money you could potentially save if you knew what was going to happen before it did. Sadly, there are no Cliffs Notes for parenting. We figure out motherhood as we go along. But maybe some of the ones before us could give us a heads-up now and then. I mean, I bought every single Baby Einstein video, and my kids still haven’t told me about the Theory of Relativity.

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