A Dad’s View
by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson
We’ve all heard tall tales passed down from generations past. Stories that are so old we can’t possibly verify their authenticity. So outrageous we’re sure they can’t be authentic. You know the story of how your grandparents had to walk a mile to school. Barefoot and through the snow. Your parents studied tirelessly into the night. By candlelight. An uncle shot the biggest buck in a tri state area. When he was 10 years old. A cousin spotted Big Foot. Alone.
Childbirth is fodder for stories. We women could talk for hours about birthing experiences: from the intensity of the labor pains to the never ending pushing. It took me until I had kids to realize that all that pain, discomfort, and anxiety molds into a distant memory. Well sure we can recall a good story over cocktails or in the presence of our gal pals. But for the most part once we inhale that brand new baby smell, we’re suckers. Oh that wasn’t so bad, we say to ourselves.
But do you ever wonder what men go through during the actual birth? Okay, some guys may be joking around with the hospital staff, taking more video than necessary on his cell phone, and playing with those rubber gloves, but baby birthing is big kid stuff and for some men, the experience stays with them. Not always in a good yeah-I-was-there-for-the-whole-birth-and-cut-the-cord-and-everything kind of way.
Martin Daubney form England recalled how seeing his wife labor for three days before eventually succumbing to a C-section made him not want to have sex with her. For over a year. Say what?????
He explained, “I felt guilty; I had made her pregnant, so surely I was to blame. That’s what made me terrified of love-making — I didn’t want to put her through that trauma again.”
Over a year? Okay, I had to ask my husband if he saw me (or rather my girl parts) differently because of watching our kids being born.
“No dear,” he said. “I wasn’t even looking at it like that. It was more of a clinical thing for me.”
He was excited that my doctor saved the after birth for him to see the after from our youngest son’s birth. Yep. Dude had a little science sidebar going on.
As of writing this, men cannot give birth. Okay, there was that one guy that Oprah interviewed. So it’s nice that there is some type of sympathy for what labor does to our bodies. And 36 hours of labor is a very long time. But man, so is a year without sex.