Who’s Gonna Be There?
Way before even getting pregnant, I tried to imagine the scene in the delivery room. The only thing I knew for certain was that I would be screaming my head off. And boy did I hit that on the head.
Now if you ask your parents or grandparents, some might tell you that during delivery, the father was usually not in the delivery room. So not cool. If you were there for the sex, you stay for the rest.
But you have choices and might want to come up with a list of people that could be there. A doula, a midwife, a mother, a sister-in-law. An entire room of people cheering you on. A circle of support with chants of, “You can do it! You’re doing great! You’re almost done!”
As you start creating that scenario in your head, it might be a bit much. That’s a lot of people. They’ll all be fully clothed. You’ll be partially naked, legs spread apart, and sweating like a pig. Makes you feel for the zoo animals. Except there’s no tall fence with a sign saying “DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.”
In reality, at a certain point in labor, you don’t really care who’s in the room. You sort of lose the ability to care about anything other than getting something the size of professional size–soccer ball through your va jay jay. I honestly didn’t care if the guy from Facilities or the woman from Food Service stopped in. Not sure I would have even noticed. My range of focus was limited to the area just below my belly button. Nothing to the left or right was of any concern to me. But if you had a wrench, plunger, or a bagel that could be at all helpful, I’d have said, “Have at it.”
Regardless of who you want with you during delivery, the one person you need to give alot of thought to is your OB. Years ago, I was across from a gynecologist asking him questions. I was a decade away from having kids, but I wanted his perspective on how he could relate to women’s health. His answer? “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck, it must be a duck.” Huh? Fastest route to a new gynecologist. Ever.
Finding the right doctor is sort of like finding a good mate. You want someone who has a good reputation, is compassionate, and can explain things in basic terms. You know, no duck comparisons.