Keeping Up with the Baby Jones
There is an amazing amount of stuff you need to take care of a baby. And when you’re pregnant, you’ll have a while to think of what you really need. Because in reality, you won’t need everything on the market. Like when you’re on the hunt for a new SUV. Do you really need leather seats, the sunroof, and DVD player?
Dolce & Gabanna now markets a baby perfume. It’s designed to enhance the natural smell of a baby. Not sure if that would be before or after the natural diaper blow out! Yes, I know to each their own, but why does a baby really need perfume? They already get a good coating of shampoo, baby oil, baby powder, and baby wipes. It might be setting them up for unnecessary stress. If they get within 20 feet of the lady who gives out sample perfumes at the department store, these kids may be destined for serious therapy.
Strollers are a big-ticket item. They are to a baby what a minivan is to a parent. With about as many options. Strollers with built-in bassinets. Who wouldn’t like a bed on wheels, right? And some of the high-end strollers have multiple cup holders. More holders than a baby has bottles. I’m pretty sure those are for mommy’s sippy cups. And if running up and down the stairs to soothe your baby’s every need doesn’t burn enough calories for you, the jogger stroller may be more your style. Those are some fierce mommas running behind those. Personally, I’d use one just to keep my balance while attempting to run! And then there is the Mack truck of strollers: the double stroller. Difficult to push, nearly impossible to turn, but perfect for strapping down two toddlers at the same time.
But the mother of all inventions is the recently introduced ipotty. A training seat with an attachment to hold…wait for it…an iPad. Yes, an iPad. So now your baby can learn to use the toilet while watching a movie, getting the Dow Jones numbers, and taking in another episode of Barney and Friends. It just seems like the perfect breeding grounds for a future Al Bundy. Heck, if they made toilets like that for adults, none of us would leave the bathroom.
Having kids seems to have a direct relationship to being on a budget. So sometimes it comes down to buying what you really need. But man, on the other hand, it’s fun to buy stuff that isn’t really necessary. Why not use having a baby as a good excuse to buy it? Try this:
Kids are messy. Leather cleans up easily. See how easy it is?