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Try This Way

April 2, 2013 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

I’m not a prude. But I kinda think that unless invited, people should stay out of your bedroom: figuratively and literally.

But who listens to that, especially when people find out you’re trying to get pregnant. Sure it makes sense to start eating healthy and to quit smoking..

I don’t know where these people come from, but there will not be a shortage of advice-givers suggesting what to wear. During baby-making sessions. Seriously? If you’re trying to get knocked up, you don’t need to wear anything. I was on a mission and didn’t need things like hooks, zippers, and ties getting in the way. That sexy lingerie was at the bottom of the drawer, collecting dust near the socks with the holes in them.

Oh, the other end of the spectrum? The buttinskis who want to talk the mechanics of sex. C’mon people. I took health class in high school, read plenty of smutty romance novels, and had the premium cable movie channels.

Okay, it makes total sense that timing goes into getting pregnant. The whole ovulation thing pretty much demands that. But then people chime in about positions. No, not positions like in baseball or soccer. You know, the sexual kind. If you try this, you’ll increase your chances of having a boy. Or, you’ll be more likely to have a girl if you do it this way.

Okay, so let me get this straight. The egg and sperm are divided into groups that get called up based on the position their host body is in? Very interesting. I was told that if a woman is on top, that makes it more likely to create a girl. Hmm. So what if positions change at the very last second? Do the sperm quickly stop where they were headed and call for backup? Like changing your breakfast order 10 minutes after your server has put it through to the kitchen.

And somewhere along the line, I was told that getting my legs up in the air would be a good way to secure the sperm in place. Hey, why not just have a sandwich bag taped over my lady part afterward? Of course, after my husband and I exhaust half the positions in the Kama Sutra. I mean one of those positions has gotta be a guarantee for a genius. Or an alien baby, right?

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