Like so many families, we race through out days. There's work to do, cleaning to
keep up with, bills to pay, needs to meet, mouths to fill. Before we had kids, Mike
and I often took day trips, which were always fun and much looked forward to.
A few months after Tyler was born, I really started to miss those days. So I made
them a priority. On a dry-erase board I keep on the fridge for grocery lists and
notes, I wrote in big letters: "Family Day:" And then I gave it a date for that month,
and the next, and the next. I asked Mike to write the dates on his calendar too,
and we made sure that they happened.
Since then, we've taken a family day almost every month. Yesterday, we went to Hershey
Park (pictured here). We've visited the Philadelphia Zoo, the Hands-On House Museum,
and much much more. I have hundreds of photos to enjoy, and we all have many wonderful
memories.
Family Day
November 21, 2008
Family Day!
One day when my son Tyler (4) was very small, my mom pulled up outside, here to watch him so I could work. Hat on her head and umbrella in her hand, I swear I thought, “My mom looks just like Mary Poppins!
Just about every week since Tyler was born, my mom has come over to watch him (and now Austin [2] too) while I work. Tyler and Austin adore all of their grandparents, and especially my mom. They call her “Nana Train” because she has a huge bin of trains she often brings.
Each night at bath, I ask Tyler and Austin what the best part of their day was. Often they say, “Playing with Nana” even if she wasn’t here that day. If someone they don’t see a lot, like my Aunt Judy, comes over, they always say “Playing with Aunt Judy.” Otherwise they say “Playing with Daddy.” Interestingly, they never say “Playing with Mommy!”
Thank Goodness for NaNa!
October 9, 2009
Can I Help You?
November 1, 2009
As an editor and writer, I understand the power of words. But as a mom, the importance of choosing the right words takes on a whole new meaning. What I say and how I say it dramatically affects how my sons respond to me.
One thing I personally know is that I feel better when someone asks “Can I help you” instead of “Do you need help?” The former is a kind offer; the latter is a suggestion that I need help! I try my hardest to offer my help to my sons, instead of implying that they need it!
I find that it definitely affects their response.
This morning with some trepidation, I had my sons vaccinated against H1N1. I’ve heard that some Mommy MD Guides aren’t having their kids vaccinated, while others are. (Stay tuned to this site for more info on that soon.) But my kids have reactive airways. Their colds quickly turn to wheezing, and so I decided H1N1 presented more of a danger to them than a vaccine reaction, so I had them vaccinated.
True to their personalities, Tyler (four) tried to negotiate with the nurse before she gave him his shot, “Hey, wait let’s talk about this first...” Then he cried like she took off a finger when he got the shot.
Austin (two) said he wasn’t going to cry, and he didn’t. He just said ‘Yelp” when the shot went in!And only one tiny tear escaped from his eyes.
An Ounce of Prevention...
November 7, 2009
Here’s hoping to avoid more nebulizer treatments...
When Tyler turned two, he suddenly realized that he didn't have to eat what we cooked,
and there wasn't a whole lot we could do about that. We tried the "eat what's on
your plate or no dessert!!!" technique, but when I interviewed a childhood obesity
expert for a project I was working on, he said that absolutely wasn't the right way
to go. (Interestingly, when I asked him what to do instead, he didn't have any other
ideas!)
A few months later, we hit upon a solution. We told Tyler that all he had to do was
try everything on his plate, and then he could pick one small treat from a basket
of trick or treat candy. (It was Halloween at the time!) This has worked well ever
since. Both Tyler, and now his brother Austin, taste everything on their plates,
and they often discover that they like things that they otherwise would never have
tasted!
Even though fall has come and gone, we still call them “Halloween treats!”
Halloween Treats
August 1, 2009
The only vegetables (and I use that term loosely!) my son Tyler (four) eats are pickles
and french fries. My husband, Mike, planted around 10 vegetables from seeds in a
garden in our backyard, with Tyler and his brother Austin (two) watching with great
interest and helping as much as toddlers can.
Today they pulled the first carrot out of the ground. Imagine our surprise when Tyler
exclaimed "I love vegetables!! Pick more carrots!"
Plant a Garden
July 12, 2009
Shortly after Tyler was born, my husband, Mike, and I attended a seminar at our church
by Larry Koenig, PhD, called Smart Discipline.
Dr. Koenig described how vital it is to give kids specific feedback, and he offered
a list of helpful words to use. After that, each night before bed, Mike and I tell
Tyler and Austin one specific quality of theirs that made us proud that day. For
example, "Tyler, today I am so proud of your helpfulness. You carried our dinner
plates to the sink without even being asked!" Or, "Austin, today you were such a
great sharer! When Tyler asked to play with the Thomas train, you gave it to him
so willingly!"
Our kids look forward to this each night, and sometimes they even tell us what we
did particularly well that day! Yesterday, Tyler said "Mommy, today you were so fun!"
“I’m So Proud of You”
July 27, 2009
Enjoy Your Stay
August 11, 2009
“Tyler and Austin, you are our valued guests,” my husband said. “We hope you enjoy
your stay here at Chez Reich. Check-out time is at age 18 . . . ”
My husband’s words made me laugh out loud. They were all in the office cleaning up
toys, and I was cleaning up dinner dishes.
But then I realized the wisdom in Mike’s words. He and I are living here to stay,
but our kids truly are only “guests.” We hope to raise them to be happy, successful
adults who move on to have happy, successful lives–and visit us very often.
Good Job, Austin
August 13, 2009
When Tyler was potty training, my husband and I gave him M&Ms whenever he used the potty. Of course now he no longer needs to be rewarded for going to the bathroom.
A few months ago, though, when Austin started using the potty–and getting M&Ms–Tyler started to ask for M&Ms again. This felt like a huge step backward in his development, so I tried to explain that no, big boys don’t get M&Ms for using the potty.
But then I hit upon an idea: I explained to Tyler that it would help Austin potty train if Tyler would encourage him. So when Austin uses the potty, if Tyler sincerely encourages him, such as by saying “Good job, Austin!” then Tyler also can have an M&M.
This works like a charm! Austin soaks up all the attention, Tyler is happy to support his brother, and all I have to do is buy M&Ms!
Embrace the Stickiness
August 16, 2009
I try to keep a really clean home. My mom often jokes it’s like a Realtor is coming by for an open house every day.
But now that our kids are four and two years old, this has actually gotten harder to do than when they were babies. Tyler and Austin are independent enough now to wander around the house with food and drinks, but they’re not really old enough to realistically expect them to clean up after themselves. Apple juice spurts out of sippy cups; little fingers escape being washed after dinner.
Consequently, these days it feels like there’s a thin layer of sticky all over this house. I can very easily let this frustrate me, and try to clean up every second. Instead, I try to tell myself to chill out and embrace the stickiness. These toddler years are flying by, and I’ll miss them when they’re over.
Thank You
August 20, 2009
“Thank you!” I was delighted to hear Austin say that to the instructor at The Little Gym this morning when he stamped Austin’s hand, even though I was in the next room, unable to prompt him, make frantic hand gestures, or shoot steely eyed glances.
Truth be told, Austin is a surprisingly polite toddler. My husband and I really stress manners. If Austin or his brother, Tyler, ask for something without saying please, my standard reply is, “Please if you ask me nicely, I will.” (Or in simpler terms for Austin, “Please if you say please, I will.”) I probably say this 25 times a day, and it’s really nice to see it’s paying off.
We were at The Little Gym as guests of very good friends of ours, but I don’t think it’ll be our last trip there. Tyler and Austin had a blast, and they’ve been talking about it ever since!
“Vacation: All I Ever Wanted...”
September 21, 2009
I’ve always been a big believer in the value of family vacations. But after our week in Walt Disney World, now I’m even more sure. My husband and I were amazed at the leaps in development Tyler and Austin made.
What was even more of a joy to watch, though, was how Tyler and Austin’s relationship deepened. After a week of concentrated time together just having fun, they are playing together dramatically better than ever. I’ve heard them call each other “my buddy” more times than I can count. Austin cried this morning when we dropped Tyler off at preschool. “I miss my buddy,” he wailed.
I won’t hesitate to take the boys out of school for our next vacation. I feel that they are that important.
Thanks for the Memories
September 6, 2009
At least once a day, I watch my sons in complete amazement, wishing that I could remember every little detail for ever. But the time goes so fast, and memories are so fragile that I try to capture as many of them as possible.
One easy thing I do is ever since Tyler was born, I keep a calendar next to my desk. Each day I try to write just one sentence, either something we did that day, a milestone he reached or once he started talking, something he said. Once Austin was born, I added a second calendar. My writing is messy, and I miss a day now and again, but it’s been a very easy and fast way to preserve many memories.
Some day at the very least, Tyler and Austin can look at their calendars and know I was paying attention!
“Mommy, can you fix this?” I suspect like most households with toddlers, toys get broken here on a regular basis. If a toy needs more than duct tape, super glue, or new batteries, it’s beyond me, and my standard reply is, “Let’s ask Daddy to look at it.”
My husband, Mike, can fix just about anything. “Broken” doesn’t mean the same thing in this house. “Broken” is an opportunity to take something apart to see how it works and put it back together again, stronger than ever. Mike is teaching Tyler (4) and Austin (2) that with time and attention, just about anything that’s broken can be fixed. And what a wonderful gift that is!
We Break It; He Fixes It
September 28, 2009
Last night I decorated for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving; it’s without question my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving is all about family and friends and food–and no gifts!
It makes me sad that Thanksgiving is just a speed bump on the way to Christmas. It amazes me each year that stores have Christmas things out before Halloween, lined up right behind to the Halloween things as if pushing them out of the way. No where is there space for Thanksgiving. I wish I could boycott stores that put out Christmas things before Thanksgiving, but then there would be no where for me to shop!
So in my own way, I make space and time for Thanksgiving. I decorate for Thanksgiving as I do every holiday, one night after my sons go to bed. I love to see their surprise and delight in the morning when they see our home has been transformed.
We have a few Thanksgiving books, and I plan to buy more. I love reading and talking about the holiday with my kids. I keep those books stored with the decorations, so when they come out it makes them special. Kinda like the Disney vault!
And on Thanksgiving day, we enjoy a special meal and each take time to say something we’re thankful for. In my mind it’s always family, friends, happiness, and health.
A Time to Give Thanks
November 9, 2009
“If I help you, it’ll be done in half the time and then we can play.”
I was more than a little shocked to hear those words come out of four-year-old Tyler’s mouth! Not because he doesn’t like to help–he does. He’s the neatest, most organized four-year-old I’ve ever met. What surprised me was the logic behind his words–that two of us could do the job in half of the time.
We’ve always modeled work before play and gotten Tyler and Austin involved in tidying and cleaning. And if they ever pick up the Swiffer or a dust cloth, there’s much celebration!
Many Hands Make Light Work
December 14, 2009
“Noooooooooooooo!” Austin was wailing like someone was trying to take his favorite toy away from him.
But that wasn’t it at all! My mom had asked if she could borrow a book of mine, and Austin had misunderstood. He thought that my mom wanted to borrow his books. And he was completely hysterical about it.
Both of my kids love books. They enjoy hearing three to five stories each night before bed, and each night they choose an armful of books to take to bed to “read.” When I asked Austin which was his favorite Christmas gift, he said “my books,” without hesitation.
If my boys grow up to be readers, I will be very very proud and pleased. My husband and I both read to them before they were even born, and we’ll drop anything when they ask us to read to them. We’re readers, too, and I think modeling that helps. We’ve taught them that books are valued in this house, and so throwing or tearing a book is a serious “offense.”
In Pursuit of Readers
January 17, 2010
“Austin, will you trade Thomas for James?” Tyler (four) asked.
“Sure, Tyler!” Austin (two) replied.
Exchanges like these are daily, probably hourly, events here at our house. We used to have such a challenge with “toy taking,” one boy snatching a toy from the other. Then, I discovered the power of trading! My husband and I started to encourage the boys to offer something that they have in exchange for something that they want.
This worked out great because at the time, Tyler had a Leapster, but Austin didn’t yet have one. Austin would trade practically anything for a chance to play with the Leapster. So they quickly both learned that trading was beneficial to them both!
Now they trade toys back and forth all of the time, and toy taking is rare.
Trading Toys
February 7, 2010
Wow, did I feel bad. Tyler was crying hysterically, and it was my fault.
He asked me for some Valentines that he made last month out of paper and plain envelopes, and I couldn’t find them. Worse, I suspected that I had thrown them out.
I felt terrible because I knew how I would feel if someone had thrown away something I had worked hard on. Yet sometimes I admit I do toss some of my sons’ “artwork” in the recycling bin because otherwise we’d be drowning in it.
But Tyler was so upset I knew I needed a better plan. So we agreed that before I threw out a drawing, I’d ask. Anything Tyler wants to keep goes into a small bin. Once the bin is full, it’s Tyler‘s job to sort through it and throw out enough paper to make some room.
Paper, Paper Everywhere
March 5, 2010
