I’m pregnant and getting tons of attention, but my husband looks a little lost. What did you do to help support your husband during your pregnancy?
Our Mommy MD Guide’s reply: My first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy, and it was very complicated. I think that in some ways the pregnancy was more difficult for my husband than it was for me. I had a task to do. My job was to carry these babies, and I was willing to do whatever I needed to do. I got to withdraw from life and have this special status as the mother of these babies. People told me I was doing such a good job.
But meanwhile, my husband had to go on with normal life—seeing his patients all day and then coming home to run the house and care for me because I was on bed rest. My husband was more detached from the process of pregnancy, more removed. He was very anxious for me, and he was very anxious for our babies.
No one feels sorry for the dad-to-be in these situations. All of the concern goes toward the mom-to-be. But the dad needs at least as much emotional support as the mom.
I supported my husband as best as I could during my pregnancy. I was careful to always thank him for everything he did for me. When he needed some space and time alone, I gave it to him. And I clearly remember when our twins were being born, I though to myself, I have to push out these babies and support my husband all at the same time! I remember willing myself to deliver my twins and send love to my husband simultaneously.
—Ruth D. Williams, MD, a mom of twins—a boy and a girl—and another boy, and an ophthalmologist in private practice at the Wheaton Eye Clinic in Wheaton, IL, who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of glaucoma